Hairy Ticks of Dune

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Predictions for Leto of Dune

KJA & BH “more engrossed” with books they hope will actually sell

KJA and the HLP have finally come up with a spin story that they hope at least the fanboys will buy: that even though the Heroes tetralogy* is only halfway finished, the two hacks “f[i]nd themselves much more engrossed with th[e] story” they will be putting out in the “Great Schools” trilogy(?).

Only a brain-damaged McDune fan is likely to buy that, but that’s their story for now.

This being the case, it seems highly unlikely that this McDune book will ever see print. And while it is likely that this would have been the crowning fiasco of Kevin J. Anderson’s McDune depravities, maybe it’s better that it never gets written.

“Leto (or The Golden Path?) of Dune!”

This will be the final volume in the “Heroes” series. There is still some uncertainty over the final title, and perhaps concerning when the book will come out, but for the time being it is expected in 2013.*

Used without permission.

It’s really early to be guessing about this one, but there have been a few comments made, and it is not hard to imagine that “Spanky” is just itching to get his fingers into Leto Atreides II. At present I see three possible periods for events in this stinker-to-come:

  1. The early years of Leto’s reign, post-Children;
  2. Flashbacks to the pre-Children period; and
  3. Flashforwards to much later in Leto’s reign but still pre-God Emperor.

Predictions about the content of the book will be divided among these four periods.

Part 1 - Early years of Leto’s Reign (Post-Children)

  • Silly KJA-esque descriptions of the early stages of Leto’s transformation. Think “Super Leto, AWAY!”*
  • Being incest literature for tweens, Leto mainly takes out his frustrations by killing a lot of people. (merkin muffley)
  • Various stupidly portrayed political intrigues as Farad’n plots to retake the throne. Plods within plods within plods...
  • Debut of the first of Leto’s Duncan gholas.*
  • Psychic/magic battle between Leto and a gaggle of Bene Gesserit psych-casters, somewhat reminiscent of that between Vincent Price and Boris Karloff in The Raven, which KJA will just happen to have watched the night before he goes out to dictahike some extra padding “chapters”.

Part 2 - Pre-Children Flashbacks

Part 3 - Pre-God Emperor Flashforwards

  • Leto’s stamping out of the Mentat schools. This will be a perfect opportunity to introduce Erasmus’ memory core that Gilberus Albans made off with!
  • Before he loses his cock entirely he has sex with a volunteer Fish Speaker — who rapidly gets torn to shreds by his super-sperm. (Sev)
  • Leto will dictate the works of Noah Arkwright while hiking all 54 dunes above 14000 ft. on Arrakis. Nine other historians will accuse Arkwright of being a lazy hack and will be burned alive. Stilgar will then scold Leto, saying: “With great power comes great responsibility.” (merkin muffley)
  • Leto & Sister Chenoeh
  • OM Baron Harkonnen discovers a way to take over other other-memory-selves and gain enough power to take over Leto’s mind. Leto joins forces with OM Muad’dib as they journey deep into his other Matrix.. I mean memories, and track down the Oracle who can tell them how to defeat an army of OM Baron Harkonnens in a great big burly brawl in a memory of a Muad’ru operahouse. (DunefishUK)
  • There will be a scene involving Norma coming to Leto in a dream or some shit like that. They’re definitely going to have some kind of conversation. (Nekhrun)
  • Leto fighting off the machine menace he later tells Siona about.* OM Norma will defeat them! (DuneFishUK)